Kitchen Nightmares: The phrase is synonymous in today's society with an image of Chef Gordon Ramsey standing over some sad restaurant owner and staff that has let it all go to hell while he brow beats them for using frozen ravioli or powdered potatoes trying to pass them off as fresh. The horror! This blog however is about literal nightmares that haunt actual chefs.
The stress, sleep deprivation and sometimes heat exhaustion that we professionals experience on a day to day creep into our minds and attach themselves. At Big Orange, we hear printers all day sending the guest's orders back. It becomes a challenge to see if we can "sell" all the tickets before another prints. When it happens we call it "shots". That sound of the printer scribbling though begins to have a real Pavlovian effect. I hear the printer and just a small rush of anxiety comes over me. I was in my typical morning haze a few weeks ago when I swear on my life instead of hearing my microwave beep, I heard the printer! My eyes shot open in surprise and I then decided I needed to ask other chefs. I immediately needed to know that I wasn't going nuts and I wasn't the only one who had these very real experiences.
Matt Clark: (Owner) Waffle Wagon- Little Rock, Arkansas
"God I dream about work all the time! Just the other night I was at a job, except not in the Wagon. It was outside the trailer, irons on one side of the room and fryers on the other. Kind of a flea market set up. It was busy as hell and I was running back and forth. I get through it and start loading out. I go to the trailer and there are like 10 people in it and it's a mess. I was Mortified!"
When I was a baker, I typically worked by myself from 8pm to 6am in a locked store. I had a key and between oven runs, I would unlock the store and go outside to smoke. My Miche loafs took close to 30 minutes in the oven and occasionally I would go out during that run. I remember having this reoccurring nightmare that I had stepped out during the Miche and just as the door closed, I realized I had forgotten my keys and my phone. I would panic and stare in the window as I watched the bread burn and the building alarm begin to sound. The oven would catch fire and like 10 police cars and a fire truck would come and I'd be standing in front of this burning building like an arsonist.
Jeff Owen: (Chef) Ciao Baci- Little Rock, Arkansas
"I have stress dreams really. Tickets with cryptic symbols and no one's around to decode them. Never ending printer singing or kitchens that look the same but everything's out of place... I have nights where I wake up and feel like I left something in the oven but know I've pulled it out, only thinking I hadn't cause I was dreaming about it. Also stirring and turning when dreaming about risotto to wake up in a ball of sheets or rolled up like a crepe."
When I was a kid, my family would go to the beach and my sister and I would splash in the waves all day. By the time we were headed home, every time I closed my eyes I saw waves and almost felt the currant. As a chef, I spend several hours cutting fruits and vegetables. I experience the same feeling I did as a kid. I cut so many strawberries that when I close my eyes, all I can see is bold red and seeds. I swear I can almost feel them in my hands.
Zara Abbasi: (Pastry Chef) Natchez- Little Rock, Arkansas
"One day early on at Natchez, I was done with all my desserting and asked if anyone else needed help. I was handed a crate of peppers to chop up. Coming from a Pakistani background, I have chopped a million peppers in my day without any adverse effects, so the thought of putting on gloves never crossed my mind. Except, this day was different you see, because hidden in that crate of jalapenos and habeneros were devilish ghost peppers. Yup. You can only surmise what happened next as I chopped 200+ peppers gloveless. Nothing happened at first. I finished chopping and prepping and cleaned up. On the drive home, my hands started tingling a bit. It was summer and the air was on in my car but I cranked it up and held each hand, one at a time, up to the vent while trying to drive. By the time I got home, the tingling was certainly present enough to warrant putting my hands in the freezer for second but still not bad enough to complain about it. Within an hour I could tell it was getting worse. Now the tingling was a definite burning and I was running them under cool water. As the time passed, the burning became excruciating. At one point it felt as if someone had thrown hydrochloric acid on my hands and the flesh was melting off the bones. I had Googled everything to cure such pain and found 19 remedies including baking soda, sour cream, mayo, yogurt oil, pickle juice etc. My hands were a virtual salad bar of refrigerated items. I cried. I literally cried and I didn't cry through 2 child births. 16 hours later, yes 16, the pain finally subsided enough for me to get a few hours of sleep and wake up to get back to work. Worst kitchen nightmare of my life!! No matter how many times you have cut peppers, please put on gloves! I know I do!"
Its amazing how stress can cause our imaginations to run wild. 15 hour days in the kitchen and it sometimes feels like you are hallucinating, but the fact is that sometimes the worst nightmares are actual events. I have witnessed people walking out in the middle of dinner service, embarrassing egos and many other colorful happenings. Definitely nightmares in their own right.
John Currence: (Chef/Owner) City Grocery, Boure, Big Bad Breakfast- Oxford, Mississippi
(Author) Pickles, Pigs and Whiskey
"1. A pantry cook sending out a crème Anglaise because he had run out of dressing and was afraid to tell me...no wait, that really happened. 2. A pastry cook making 100 Ginger Crème Brulees at the Beard House with salt instead of sugar because he was a total fucking dumbass...no wait, that really happened. 3. A sous chef serving David Chang his OWN kimchi after an event Dave had cooked at because the sous was an asshole hack... no wait, that actually happened. 4. Editor in Chief of one of the biggest food magazines in the country showing up on opening night and the server spilling red wine all over her... no wait, that actually happened. 5. Bathrooms backing up into the dining room on graduation Friday TWO YEARS IN A ROW... no wait, that actually happened. 6. Disgruntled ex-employee setting fire to the loading dock/chem locker, because he was a total pillhead psycho (which is why he lost his job)...no wait, THAT REALLY HAPPENED. So, I guess I don't really have nightmares anymore because I understand now that there is truly very little you can control absolutely. It's all built on trust and there's only so much of that around these days."
And there you have it. In just a small statement, a culinary giant like Chef Currence shows his experience. On our proverbial climb to the top of our goals, it's all stress. 'Does this taste right? Am a charging the best price? Do my sources reflect my views? Do I have enough strawberries for dinner???' It seems that one day we will all realize that sometimes it just hits the fan and all you can do is roll with the punches. Oh and take an Ambien. Ha!
Zara Abbasi: (Pastry Chef) Natchez- Little Rock, Arkansas
"One day early on at Natchez, I was done with all my desserting and asked if anyone else needed help. I was handed a crate of peppers to chop up. Coming from a Pakistani background, I have chopped a million peppers in my day without any adverse effects, so the thought of putting on gloves never crossed my mind. Except, this day was different you see, because hidden in that crate of jalapenos and habeneros were devilish ghost peppers. Yup. You can only surmise what happened next as I chopped 200+ peppers gloveless. Nothing happened at first. I finished chopping and prepping and cleaned up. On the drive home, my hands started tingling a bit. It was summer and the air was on in my car but I cranked it up and held each hand, one at a time, up to the vent while trying to drive. By the time I got home, the tingling was certainly present enough to warrant putting my hands in the freezer for second but still not bad enough to complain about it. Within an hour I could tell it was getting worse. Now the tingling was a definite burning and I was running them under cool water. As the time passed, the burning became excruciating. At one point it felt as if someone had thrown hydrochloric acid on my hands and the flesh was melting off the bones. I had Googled everything to cure such pain and found 19 remedies including baking soda, sour cream, mayo, yogurt oil, pickle juice etc. My hands were a virtual salad bar of refrigerated items. I cried. I literally cried and I didn't cry through 2 child births. 16 hours later, yes 16, the pain finally subsided enough for me to get a few hours of sleep and wake up to get back to work. Worst kitchen nightmare of my life!! No matter how many times you have cut peppers, please put on gloves! I know I do!"
Its amazing how stress can cause our imaginations to run wild. 15 hour days in the kitchen and it sometimes feels like you are hallucinating, but the fact is that sometimes the worst nightmares are actual events. I have witnessed people walking out in the middle of dinner service, embarrassing egos and many other colorful happenings. Definitely nightmares in their own right.
John Currence: (Chef/Owner) City Grocery, Boure, Big Bad Breakfast- Oxford, Mississippi
(Author) Pickles, Pigs and Whiskey
"1. A pantry cook sending out a crème Anglaise because he had run out of dressing and was afraid to tell me...no wait, that really happened. 2. A pastry cook making 100 Ginger Crème Brulees at the Beard House with salt instead of sugar because he was a total fucking dumbass...no wait, that really happened. 3. A sous chef serving David Chang his OWN kimchi after an event Dave had cooked at because the sous was an asshole hack... no wait, that actually happened. 4. Editor in Chief of one of the biggest food magazines in the country showing up on opening night and the server spilling red wine all over her... no wait, that actually happened. 5. Bathrooms backing up into the dining room on graduation Friday TWO YEARS IN A ROW... no wait, that actually happened. 6. Disgruntled ex-employee setting fire to the loading dock/chem locker, because he was a total pillhead psycho (which is why he lost his job)...no wait, THAT REALLY HAPPENED. So, I guess I don't really have nightmares anymore because I understand now that there is truly very little you can control absolutely. It's all built on trust and there's only so much of that around these days."
And there you have it. In just a small statement, a culinary giant like Chef Currence shows his experience. On our proverbial climb to the top of our goals, it's all stress. 'Does this taste right? Am a charging the best price? Do my sources reflect my views? Do I have enough strawberries for dinner???' It seems that one day we will all realize that sometimes it just hits the fan and all you can do is roll with the punches. Oh and take an Ambien. Ha!
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